Why I'm writing in English now and why I will be posting on Pixnet
When I finally write these stories in English, I feel free. Like when I'm posting these stuff in English, it's just normal, like I'm no different than anyone else who would write these stories.
From today, every dun4real post will also be posted in Chinese on Taiwan blog hosting site Pixnet.
It has certainly been a disappointment to post on Chinese social media sites like Sina Weibo where I got one account blocked, and another account's posts basically not visible to anyone. No one from Sina has taken the time to explain the reason to me despite multiple appeals to them, through 3 different Weibo accounts, via messages, in app, on the web, through phone... All the ways didn't work. It's frustrating. And hurting.
It's disappointing to me because, even though I had long tried to lower my dependence on Weibo, I never expected thousands of posts and so many connections and audiences to be lost overnight, maybe only because I stood for something and cared about something and posted a link to Dr. Ai's interview during the horrible pandemic in China. Lives were lost, families were apart, and we couldn't say a word about it or we don't get to speak another word.
Lately I have been posting in English not for attracting anyone speaking English, but because it's the language I feel comfortable writing in. It's also because I find it odd to write this stuff in Chinese, like Chinese pop music stuff should just be about having fun or be about drama or pitting one another or spending money on concerts then showing off, instead of maybe just writing a fact and not have any drama.
Writing in Chinese makes me feel strange, like I'm a minority, like I'm not supposed to do so. In my years of experience of telling the story of the band, I have always felt awkward with every word I typed, like these posts don't belong here on Chinese Internet. When I finally write these stories in English, I feel free. Like when I'm posting these stuff in English, it's just normal, like I'm no different than anyone else who would write these stories.
I'm glad I finally found my language. I'm also thankful for Deepl who can translate English stuff to Chinese correctly with a click.
为什么我现在要用英文写作，以及为什么我要在Pixnet上发帖？
从今天开始，dun4real的每一篇文章也将在台湾博客托管网站Pixnet上以中文发布。
在新浪微博这样的中文社交网站上发帖无疑让我很失望——我的一个账号被封，另一个账号的帖子基本没人能看到。尽管通过3个不同的微博账号，通过消息，在应用中，在网络上，通过电话，多次反饋要求解封，但新浪没有一個人花时间向我解释原因。所有的方式都没有用。这让人很沮丧。也很受伤。
这让我很失望，因为，尽管我早就想降低对微博的依赖性，但我从来没有想到成千上万的帖子和这么多的關係和受众会在一夜之间消失，而這也许只因為我有自己堅守的東西，有自己的關懷，在中国大流行期间发了一个艾医生的采访链接。生命逝去，家庭离散，我们却不能说一句话，否则我们就没机会多说一句话。
最近我一直用英文发帖，不是为了吸引说英语的人，而是因为这是我觉得写起来很舒服的语言。也是因为我觉得用中文写这些东西很奇怪，好像中国流行音乐的东西就应该是娛樂一番或者跟其他人爭鬥，或者花钱看演唱会然后炫耀，而不是可能只写一个事实而没有任何戲碼。
用中文写作让我觉得很奇怪，好像我是少数派，好像我不应该这么做。在我多年的讲述乐队故事的经历中，我总是觉得自己打的每一个字都很别扭，好像这些文章不属于中文互联网这里。当我终于把这些故事用英文写出来的时候，我感覺到自由。就像當我用英文发这些东西，就像这很正常一样，就像我和其他人写这些故事没有什么不同。
我很高兴我终于找到了自己的语言。我也很感谢Deepl，他能把英文的东西一键正确翻译成中文。
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